Hogsmeade weekend shall prove very beneficial before the holiday. I can shop for anything I may need to make myself utterly disgusting for my suitors. If that doesn't work, I've learned several new hexes thanks to Greg.

It seems the only class I'm behind in is Charms. This is a great improvement from last year. I'm a bit surprised at how distracting Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle were in the past. My mother's looking to hire me a Charms tutor for the hols much to my disappointment.

Bat wings and Bobcat tails, Batman! It's nearly Christmas Holiday!

[Private to Longbottom]

Christmas shall be rather horrid I think. Promise you'll at least owl me.

[/private]

Christmas shall be a rather annoying holiday this year, so it seems. I will be meeting at least three more potential suitor. I don't want any suitors. I'm not even very sure I'd like to be married, and I wouldn't want to do it anytime soon. Bloody Fucking Christ, I'm only 17.

I'm not quite sure why everyone is complaining about NEWTs. Hello, they're still a long bit off. In the only classes I really bother to pay attention in, very little if anything has been said about NEWTs.

[Private]

I wonder if my parents would call off the suitors if I mentioned my new pure blood boyfriend relationship friendship Longbottom.

[/Private]

[Private to Longbottom]

Are you my boyfriend?

I'm so glad you're a pureblood.

When can we have sex again?

Sorry about the mention of suitors. I don't think it will be a very enjoyable experience, if that makes you feel any better. It doesn't make me, but what can I do?

No one's mentioned you escorting me to the Slytherin table. Odd. Oh well, If no one's going to say anything, care to escort me there again sometime?

[/private]

[private]

It's been over a week, and no one has said anything. Not just about Longbottom either. Another Slytherin hasn't talked to me in general.

Not that I mind. Ok that's a lie. Greg can't even look at me, and Vincent only scowls. The girls whisper and giggle and it's quite annoying.

[/private]

I like Quidditch.

Despite the fact that Halloween is my favourite holiday, I had a horrible day. Please tell me why we're being over run with homosexuals. Disgusting.

[Private to Neville]

I need to see you.

[/private]

[Private]

It's not as bad as I though it would be, for me at least. I felt rather bad for Neville until I remembered he'd brought it on himself.

Gregory asked me to his parents for Christmas. I nearly laughed out loud. Told him I'd have to talk to my father, which I have no intention of doing. Daddy'd have me married off before next Halloween. I wonder what he'd say if it were Neville that had invited me home for Christmas.

[/private]
Oh and I fancy Neville Longbottom, too. nevermind.

Wound up with Detention with Sprout for skiving off class, again.

[Private]

Doesn't she understand I don't want to be anywhere near the bloody greenhouses. FUCK. What if I see him...

Thursday is Halloween. My favourite holiday. I have chance to be something I'm not. Happy. Someone else.

[Private]

Also, In case you've forgotten:I hate you all.

[private]
I give up.
[/private]

I think this journal is the most idiotic thing ever.
Fuck you all.
I hate you.

[Private to Neville]

Dear Neville,

I hope you had a positively smashing afternoon with your REAL GIRLFRIEND.

I hate you,
Millicent Bulstrode.

[/Private]

It's strange how a single afternoon can change your favourite subject to your least.

Those beans are for the most part disgusting, I'm not sure why anyone really likes them.

Despite what some people think, the weather's been fantastic. I'm glad I have a class outdoors.

[Private]

No tiny visitor for me in nine months. THANK THE GODS.

[/private]

Also, I appreciate it if you would refrain from meeting me after my class ever again, Gregory. I DON'T FANCY YOU. I fancy a much better looking and smarter boy. Amazingly he's a Gryffindor. Leave me alone.

Fuck.

I was going to Hogsmeade, but my plans have suddenly changed. I don't want or need company so don't bother asking. Although I doubt any of you would.

[PRIVATE. VERY. FUCKING. PRIVATE.]

How could I be so fucking stupid. How could I just let myself loose control like that. Pregnant. I could be fucking pregnant. Fuck my mother, and her last minute instructions about sex. Fuck. I'm not even sure if there's anyone can help me.

I've avoided every chance for interaction in the past few days with the exception of class. I don't want to talk to anyone, but I suppose at some point I'll have to talk to him.

[/private]

What's the point of anyone taking anyone to Hogsmeade, really? I'd rather do my bit of shopping privately. Having some horrid boy following me around with puppy dog eyes would be down right annoying. Take a hint, Gregory. I'd hate to have to hex you in front all of Hogsmeade.

Brilliant lesson in Herbology today. Mostly because someone pointed out that all flowers aren't pointless.

[Private to Neville]

Perhaps you can tell me more about those smelly ball things. Sometime.

[/private]

[Private To Neville]
Alright, Neville Longbottom, I accept.
[/private]

Herbology is fascinating, but I despise Charms.

No one cares about your stupid nail polish or striped hair. So shut the fuck up.

That great oaf, Hagrid, has managed to find a blood-sucking bugbear for us to study. It's a bit interesting. Supposedly they eat naughty children. There's several I'd like to let it loose on.

I missed Herbology due to a poorly cast hex by a 3rd year. Wound up in the hospital wing for several hours. They shouldn't be allowed wands if they can't use them properly. I wondered what we worked on today.

Bloody fags make me fucking sick!

I hate divination. Whoever talked me into continuing that pointless class shall be hexed. As soon as I remember who it was.

I hate those poofs. I feel like I'm going to vomit. It's just like the time Greg tried to kiss me.

Oh yes, also, I hate Hufflepuffs! Especially ones with cute kitty journals. I'm jealous.

That is all.

[Private to Trace]
Thanks to Gregory, I now know your little secret.
[/Private]

[Private]
Fuck. How completely disgusting. Not that any type of sexual contact isn't disgusting, but two boys... Two finely bread pureblood men...

I wish Gregory had't told me. I also wish he'd stop looking at me in suct a odd manner.
[/Private]

Just recieved a letter from my parents inquiring as to wether I'd be home for Christmas or not. The Christmas Hols is ages away, I mean honestly, it's not even Halloween yet.

Herbology detention today. Funny story bout that. Laughed at some stupid Hufflepuff when his head was nearly bit off by a Fanged Geranium.

I hate the beginning of the year. Everyone pairs off and is all sickening. It's DEPLORABLE. You like that word? Learned it over the Summer Hols. And most of you thought I was a bloody idiot.

I do find it amusing that the Ravenclaws, those who are supposedly the smartest of the lot of us, are doing the most complaining about their wretched classes.

I've actually enjoyed my classes, so far this year.

[Private]
Bloody disgusting. So many purebloods paired up with dirty little mudbloods. It makes me want to vomit. Honestly, if any Slytherins wind up blood traitors, they'll regret it.
[/private]

Apparently my mother is trying to marry me off before my 7th year. I've just received a schedule of eligible pure blood suitors that will be spending several days apiece at our home. I find it disgusting, but it seems the first of these will arrive tomorrow. My guess is he's nearly 50 and toad like.

If any of them so much as touch me, he will not live to see another day.

[private]
Home less than a week, and I'm ready to throttle my mother. Does the woman do anything but cross stitch and be little me. I've spent too many days locked up in her parlor. I've been planning an escape and tomorrow I will definitely get some fresh air a decent ride on my broom.
[/private]